Review – Southern Discomfort (“The Beguiled”)

A wounded soldier behind enemy lines. Seven innocent women all alone in a large plantation home that take him in to help him heal. What could possibly go wrong? Who knows? Maybe Zoot will be very naughty and light the Holy Grail beacon and deserve a spanking! But I digress… * * Director Sofia Coppola remakes…

Review – A Chick Flick With Teeth (“47 Meters Down”)

As the rights for this movie were changing hands from one studio to another, this film had already been shot, released on DVD (and VOD) and distributed on-line back in 2016 under the title, In The Deep. Oopsie-daisy! Nevertheless, this chick flick meets Jaws had enough teeth to be taken out of the Netflix stream…

Review – A Prime Opti-Mess (“Transformers: The Last Knight”)

I’m crazy. I mean, I have to be to keep going to see these idiotic Transformers movies, right? They’re childish, badly written, have the worst dialogue ever put on screen, and include gratuitous shots of hot babes, extreme explosions, rampaging CGI robots, and massive amounts of property damage and… oh, wait. Now, I know why…

Review – Lightning Strikes Again! (“Cars 3”)

Talking anthropomorphic automobiles that race and have feelings? Sure, why not! In 2006, Cars was Pixar’s golden child for boys having a jones for cars and NASCAR and, despite the boring plot and anti-climatic ending, it made a ton of money. That certifiable trainwreck that was Cars 2? Uh… let’s not talk about that one,…

Review – All Wrapped Up And No Place To Go (“The Mummy”)

Here we go… again! That’s right, kiddies, it’s yet another reboot/reimagining of a movie that’s barely 20-years-old, but this time Universal Pictures really hopes to kick-start their Universal Filmland Monster world (Mummy, Frankenstein, Dracula, et al) just like the DC or Marvel Universe. Dark Universe they’re calling it. (giggle giggle) Yeah, good luck with that!…