Review – A Prime Opti-Mess (“Transformers: The Last Knight”)

I’m crazy. I mean, I have to be to keep going to see these idiotic Transformers movies, right? They’re childish, badly written, have the worst dialogue ever put on screen, and include gratuitous shots of hot babes, extreme explosions, rampaging CGI robots, and massive amounts of property damage and… oh, wait. Now, I know why…

Review – Lightning Strikes Again! (“Cars 3”)

Talking anthropomorphic automobiles that race and have feelings? Sure, why not! In 2006, Cars was Pixar’s golden child for boys having a jones for cars and NASCAR and, despite the boring plot and anti-climatic ending, it made a ton of money. That certifiable trainwreck that was Cars 2? Uh… let’s not talk about that one,…

Review – All Wrapped Up And No Place To Go (“The Mummy”)

Here we go… again! That’s right, kiddies, it’s yet another reboot/reimagining of a movie that’s barely 20-years-old, but this time Universal Pictures really hopes to kick-start their Universal Filmland Monster world (Mummy, Frankenstein, Dracula, et al) just like the DC or Marvel Universe. Dark Universe they’re calling it. (giggle giggle) Yeah, good luck with that!…

Review – What A Woman! (“Wonder Woman”)

Finally! From her brief appearance in Batman v Superman last year, many a fanboy have been jonesing for a stand-alone Wonder Woman film, given the history of this DC comic book throughout the years. Did you know there almost a Wonder Woman TV series back in 2011 by David E. Kelley? True. But I digress……

Review – Water Pollution (“Baywatch”)

Bouncing boobies, beautiful buns, and the beckoning beach were the hallmarks of one of the dumbest TV shows that ran from 1989-2001, and starred David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson. A bunch of impossibly good-looking lifeguards (usually running in slo-mo) that each week saved lives, joked around, and had goofy adventures. Y’know, like in real life!…