Review – Will You Just DIE Already? (“Halloween Kills”)

Seriously, can’t anything kill Michael Myers? If you follow the Halloween movie franchise (the twelfth film since 1978!), this hulking monster has been shot, stabbed, blown-up, set on fire, run over, electrocuted, and beaten to death, but he always manages to survive. What? Is he part of the MCU? Picking up from the same night…

Review – Cars, Catastrophes, And Clod-Heads (“F9”)

The Fast ‘n’ Furious franchise jumped the tracks a while ago with Fast Five, but really went bonkers with Fast ‘n’ Furious 6. After that, every film has been less a movie and more a Warner Bros. cartoon with LOL unimaginable leaps in logic, gravity, physics, and hilarious plot devices. Any franchise that delivers such…