Review – Yogi Sniffs More Than Food (“Cocaine Bear”)

In 1985 a black bear in Georgia ate a 175lb bag of coke, died, and is currently stuffed and on display at The Kentucky for Kentucky Fun Mall in Lexington, KY. Hey, so why not embellish the hell out of this little side-story and create a horror/comedy film? Pffft! Sounds good to me! Although the…

Review – The San Fernando Valley Bites (“Day Shift”)

Mix John Carpenter’s Vampires, Van Helsing, and From Dawn Til Dusk, and you’ll have this dark comedy about vampire hunters in Reseda. Oh, they’re also hunting blood-suckers in my hometown of Simi Valley, so there’s that. Jamie Foxx stars as Bud Jablonski, a disgraced vampire killer who is trying to get back into his union.…

Review – Conan On Steroids (“The Northman”)

Looks like we may have a new mantra. Instead of the famous “My name is Indigo Montoya. . .” quote, we could have a new one with this film’s, “I will avenge you, father! I will save you, mother! I will kill you, Fjölnir!” Meh, it might work. This story is based on the 12th…

Review – Will You Just DIE Already? (“Halloween Kills”)

Seriously, can’t anything kill Michael Myers? If you follow the Halloween movie franchise (the twelfth film since 1978!), this hulking monster has been shot, stabbed, blown-up, set on fire, run over, electrocuted, and beaten to death, but he always manages to survive. What? Is he part of the MCU? Picking up from the same night…