Review – Geppetto Gets Splinters (“Pinocchio”)

There have been tons of remakes, reboots, and reimaginings of Pinocchio this decade alone! And I’m counting Guillermo DelToro’s stop-motion version coming out in December. Too bad Italian author Carlo Collodi isn’t around to collect on the residuals!   In yet another classic-Disney-animated-feature-turned-into-a-live-action-film from the House of Mouse (and there’s lots more to come, too!), we…

Review – Rocky With A Cape? (“Samaritan”)

Sly Stallone. He’s been a prizefighter, a Vietnam vet with PTSD, a hearing-impaired cop, a futuristic merciless judge, a ruthless assassin-for-hire, and even a dapper 40’s gangster, so it was about time he became a superhero, right? Right?! Like a 1980’s throw-back movie, Sly stars as Joe Smith, an ex-superhero called Samaritan living in hiding…

Review – The Lion Doesn’t Sleep Tonight (“Beast”)

After seeing this movie, you’ll think twice about going to one of those drive-through animal parks like Lion Country Safari in Florida or the San Diego Wildlife Park. Word of advice, if you see a 400lb lion walking towards your car, stay inside!! Rule number one with lions: do NOT piss them off!! Deep in…