The 10 Worst Pre-1970 Movie Monsters

It used to be that on Saturday afternoons and evenings (at least in Philadelphia and New York) you could plop down in front of the TV and enjoy a “Creature Double Feature” hosted by a local ghoul. (Dr. Shock was my favorite…) Now it seems that cable channels wait till this one time of the year to inundate us with every horror film ever made – good or bad. When you have 1,000 channels vying for your viewing, there are bound to be some dogs in the mix. So I’ll hark back to my youth to give you a heads up on some ridiculous movie monsters – the kinds that are so bad they’re good. Watch out for these. Remember, these are films that I have actually seen, so heed my warning… Beware! BEWARE!

They’re in no particular order. They’re ALL bad. And I only list nine so that YOU can add the tenth…

“Ro-Man” from “Robot Monster” (1953)

A guy in a gorilla suit wearing a diving helmet with antennae… in 3-D! . ‘Nuff said.

“The Creeping Terror” from “The Creeping Terror” (1964)

Carpet remnants, some fabric and paper mache’. And the entire film is narrated or post-production dubbed because they lost the soundtrack.

“The Bird(?)” from “The Giant Claw” (1957)

Apparently, none of the actors ever saw what they were supposed to be attacking/reacting to till the film was released. That would explain their ability to keep a straight face.

“Kharis” from “The Mummy’s Ghost” et al. (1944)

Seriously, people. He was a mummy… who dragged one leg behind him… and was covered in old, dry bandages. You couldn’t out run him? Or set him on fire?

“Rocks” from “The Monolith Monsters” (1957)

Meteor fragments that, when hit with water, grow. And grow. And grow. And then fall over. And squash people. Then the fragments grow. Again, people, you couldn’t just move to the left?

“It” from “It Conquered the World” (1956)

As best I could tell, a giant alien artichoke.

“The Beast” from “The Beast with 1,000,000 Eyes” (1955)

Some people claim it’s a tea kettle with holes punched in it. All I know is that it ain’t no beast, and it doesn’t have anywhere near a million eyes.

“Tabonga” from “From Hell It Came” (1957)

A killer tree (long before M. Night Shyamalan had Mark Wahlberg talking to them). It may be apocryphal, but one critic’s response at the time was “And to hell it can go.”

“Gor” from “The Brain from Planet Arous” (1957)

1957 was a banner year for bad movie monsters. This one could have been taken out by any kid who ever whacked a piñata at a birthday party.

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So there’s nine really bad movie monsters from pre-1970 movies. What film would you add as the tenth?

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