Rant – The Worst Oscar Predictions Ever!

Well, it’s Oscar season…again….and who am I to neglect my Cinamatic Oath to the movie industry? Yes, it’s time for my Oscar predictions! (cue the thunderous applause!) Sunday will tell the tale with Seth “Family Guy” MacFarlane hosting (and won’t THAT be interesting!), so without further delay, here are my predictions for who will win a genitalia-free statue this year:

BEST PICTURE:

I believe that it’ll boil down to either “Argo” or “Lincoln”, with “Zero Dark Thirty” as a close third, but the Academy likes to vote with “historical” stuff, so I’m gonna say “Lincoln”… but personally, I’ll be cheering for “Argo” because I’d like to see Ben Affleck’s picture win as a middle-finger to the Academy members for NOT nominating him as Best Director!

BEST ACTOR:

Looks like it’s a lock for Daniel Day-Lewis. He’s already won just about every previous award out there, so just give his Oscar and be done with it. I’d also like to see Denzel Washington get it for “Flight”, which was damn good, but Day-Lewis all but disappeared into Lincoln, and that was impressive as hell. Plus, he gives the weirdest acceptance speeches I’ve ever heard. Seriously, have you heard this guy? He’s like a “Seinfeld” episode… he rambles on about nothing!

BEST ACTRESS:

Tough one here: Jessica Chastain or Naomi Watts. Everyone is saying Jennifer Lawrence, but I disagree. She’s cute and all, but cuteness don’t garner Oscars (unless you’re a kid). I say the Academy will give the Golden One to Jessica, but I’d like to see Naomi get it for the sheer torture she went through for her role in “The Impossible”.

BEST DIRECTOR:

Steven Spielberg’s always my choice because he’s an Academy fav, but Ang Lee might have a chance with his “Life of Pi”, which was said to be “un-filmable”. Still, Spielberg directed an epic, sweeping U.S. historical piece that is rich in flavor and glorious in texture. Lee has a kid in a boat with a big kitty-cat surrounded by colorful fish. Yeah, big choice here. I’m going with Steven, but don’t discount Lee as an underdog. Ben Affleck, had he NOT been snubbed, would have won it easy.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE:

I suppose it would be easy to say Disney/Pixar’s “Wreck-it Ralph”, and be done with it, but this year’s nominees are all so freakin’ good, it’s really hard to choose! Every single one, save one (“Brave”), is a favorite of mine and I’d see them again, given the chance. Personally, I’d love to see Tim Burton’s “Frankenweenie” because of the story, the stop-motion animation, and the fact it’s in black & white. “ParaNorman”, “Pirates: Band of Misfits”, are also stop-motion and have great scripts, but I’m gonna go with Burton’s masterpiece of macabre humor.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:

Near and dear to my heart are the screenwriters. I love a great script and great screenwriters. Sorkin, Wes Anderson, and Tarantino, et al. This year we have Tarantino’s “Django Unchained”, which has all the wit and flavor of a Tarantino script. However, Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola’s “Moonrise Kingdom” is quite good and I think the dark horse here and might take it along with John Gatin’s “Flight”. All are really strong writers, but I’m gonna go with Quentin.

QUICKIES:

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:
“Argo” by Chris Terrio. Again, Affleck’s movie

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Robert DeNiro: he’s overdue for an Oscar.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Sally Field: she’s overdue, too

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:
Janusz Kaminski for “Lincoln”. The man is a legend (yes, both guys)

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS:
“The Avengers”. I’m a sucker for anything ‘superhero’.

BEST MAKEUP:
“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey”. Goblin’s, Orc’s, & Hobbit’s. Are you kidding me?

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